"i know no art is flawless, but can't i be the exception?"
...i wrote a song about perfectionism once. i even wrote a COUNTERATTACK to parry its dangerous projectile. so why am i still like this?
despite being the core message of Creative Remedy... "it's okay if you make bad art, someone will still love it"... doesn't work on me. i'm someone who wants people to like my work because it's GOOD, not in spite of the fact that it's bad. i want people who genuinely like my work, not pity fans...
i'm self aware enough to know that this is really silly. that's not how art works!
but, also...i have a bit of an ego problem. and im way too pretentious for someone who hasn't ever finished a project. and...
i'm someone who has more ideas than skills...
i've considered stripping things back. i've considered making somthing smaller, but... it never worked for me.
back when 'til countdown's end was in its "2d platformer" phase, i switched from full resolution hand drawn art, to pixel art.
that was a really devestating blow to me. my vision...the detailed character expressions... the detailed world... all of that gone, just to make something that looks like every other generic indie platformer!?
sure, it's more manageable for me, but the art... the ART!!!! THE ART!!!!!!!! the art is worse for it!
right?
sometimes i realize that i compare myself to people with way more time, money, and resources than i do.
idies, yes, but the BIG indies. with millions of fans and lots of dollars and full teams working on it and stuff.
im not going to be a buzzkill and claim that that sort of thing doesnt count as "indie" but... at some point, something like that isn't a realistic goal for someone like me...
i think, i need to suck it up and just make something stupid and unprofessional and fun.